The Glorious Mane of Michael Bay

Okay, while I still think Michael Bay is a bit of a tool*, this video makes me want to be him:

It's all the pointing that makes me love it.

*To be fair, not really. He might be perfect lovely as a human being, I just don't like his work.
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Here's the pitch: Someone sets up a Twitter account as Michael Bay, and they post regular updates as if from the mind of the man himself. Hilarity ensues. Here's a sampling:

• Fuck you. 11:21 AM September 29, 2008 from web
• No. Seriously. Fuck You. 11:22 AM September 29, 2008 from web
• Boom. That's it. That's all you need to know. 11:40 AM September 29, 2008 from web
• If Im groggy in the am I get a triple venti espresso from starbucks and dump it on the first homeless person I see in downtown LA. It works. 08:25 AM October 02, 2008 from web
• Right now, I am combing my hair. Holy hell it's a breathtaking mane. 09:46 AM October 02, 2008 from web
• Would you describe my jaw as chiseled or cut from the finest marble man has ever quarried? 01:55 PM October 03, 2008 from web
• This is the worst commute EVER. I'm buying a faster helicopter. 08:46 PM October 03, 2008 from web
• C4 was not enough. That's what I invented C5. DOUBLE BOOM. 12:57 PM October 08, 2008 from web
• I make all of my own furniture. Out of dynamite. 01:45 PM October 07, 2008 from web
I secretly hope that it's actually Michael Bay updating, because if he were really like this he'd be my favourite person in history.