Somebody should take my credit card away
Yesterday, Newsarama posted the third in their series of comics themed gifts suggested by comics pros. One of the respondents said that the recently released Absolute Watchmen collected edition was a must have, pointing to the oversized pages and remastered colouring. Being the completely suggestable person that I am ("Hey Davinder, that was a good comment you made in class." "Really? Okay, I'll spend my life in school."), I headed over to eBay to see how much the book was selling for.
I found five or six of them on sale for $25 US, which is fifty dollars cheaper than the cover price. Too good a deal to pass up right? The shipping cost was listed as $5.75 US, and when I mailed the seller for a quote on Canadian shipping he said to just add $5. $11.75 US for shipping is more than I'm usually willing to pay, but it's a hefty book so I can understand. Nevertheless, at $36.75, we're getting to the border of what I'm willing to pay for a book. Still, the description on Amazon says that the package includes production art and script samples, and the price is still 50% off cover.
So I wake up early this morning to catch the tail end of the auction. I'm disappointed to see that all of the books have at least two bids on them by now, so I've got competition. I enter the bidding with minutes to spare, and before I know it, I'm up at thirty dollars US on one. With the shipping, this puts the book at over forty dollars US, which is more than I wanted to pay. I hope that someone outbids me, but no dice, I win the book. I'm still on the edges of what I consider a good value, but then I notice that the seller doesn't take PayPal, which means I have to shell out another five bucks for a money order. Factor in the exchange rate, and that puts the book squarely in the fifty to sixty dollar CDN range, which is way more than I wanted to spend. Crap.
I've spent fifty-five dollars, and I haven't even had breakfast yet.
Anyone know where I can get a money order for cheap?
So I head in to work, and, well, for this next part I need to tell you about what happened Saturday. We'd put this big rowing machine up for auction for a customer, with a reserve of $300, and suprisingly someone bought it for twice that. This thing was massive, and everyone was looking forward to the buyer coming to pick it up so it'd be out of the way.
I was working Saturday evening and two girls came in to get the rowing machine. The eBay listing says to call an hour before coming to get your stuff, but the girl who bought the thing has all her paperwork, so I'm not really put out. I'm wondering how the two of them are going to cart the machine around (because it's gigantic), when the girl asks if they can get a hand carrying it out. I say sure, and ask where their car is. She says, right across the street, and points to it.
A bit of context: our store is located on one of Toronto's busier streets, not downtown, but definitely in the city proper. At the moment the girl pointed, all four lanes had cars zooming by. And she wanted the three of us to run across it carrying a rowing machine. The machine weighs about sixty pounds. Moreover, she's driving something that looks like a Tercel. The rowing machine is about eight feet long. I ask her if she's sure the machine will fit in her car, and she says, "Oh yeah. My seats fold down," as if explaining some fantastic new technology to me.
At this point I get my first inkling that I am dealing with the dumbest girl I have ever met.
I ask her to swing the car around to our side of the street so we don't have to run across traffic. She seems put out, but her friend laughs and agrees it's a good idea. She goes to get the car, grumbling that she thought the machine was going to be in two pieces. I haul the unwieldy thing over as best I can, and when she comes back we carry it out. For the next twenty minutes we're trying to jam the beast inside her car, first with the small end in first and then with the big end in. She is so convinced that the whole thing will fit in her car that I start to wonder if we're looking at the same vehicle. She asks for tools to take the machine apart and seems astonished when we don't have them.
I'm reminded of a bit of a sitcom I watched years ago that opened with two of the characters trying to move a big desk or something through the front door of an apartment. One character says the that desk is clearly stuck and it won't fit, and the other character responds that she knows it'll fit. "I'm an artist," she says, "I understand spatial relations." "You're a cartoonist," he responds, "You probably think we can lift up the corner and zip the desk under." That's what this was like.
Finally, after lots of twisting, then pushing, then twisting, then pushing, we get the rower most of the way in. In addition to the back seats, the front passenger seat is folded down, as well, but the machine is still sticking out by a foot. The retarded bitch (as I'm calling her by now) isn't satisfied, but her friend suggests that they can just tie the trunk down. The dumb girl asks me for rope, and is surprised again when we don't have any. She goes off looking for some, and I head back into the store, having done all this in the snow with just a shirt on.
Inside the store, the girl who was working in the back asks about what went on, and I explain how we just jammed the rowing machine into the little car out front. "That rowing machine fit in there?" "Yeah, but considering all the twisting that went into putting it into the car, I don't think they're going to be able to get it out. She's going to be driving around with that rowing machine in her car for the rest of her life." "Or until she sells it." "No, no one's going to buy a car with a rowing machine stuck in it, she's going to have that thing in there until she dies."
While we're talking, the two girls tie down the trunk and drive away. I'm still not sure where the passenger friend sat.
So I get in today and find out that she's left us "Neutral" feedback, commenting that we were unprepared and unhelpful. I already clench up when I'm telling people how dumb this girl is, and now this. Rrrgh. I'm getting all wound up again just thinking of it now.
Alright, to end on a lighter note, here's a link to some images of fake signs made to spoof official looking signs. This was my favourite: