More human than human

Sometimes keeping my life simple is a real struggle.
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Among the lessons learned on this past weekend: I can throw a bottle with a great degree of accuracy. I refuse to explain further on the grounds that my explanation may incriminate me.
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This site is the homepage of a guy who retouches photos for magazines. The site is a novelty, go there an entertain yourself. Click the thumbnails, and then pass your mouse pointer over the photos to see the before and after. His subjects include some of the most beautiful people around, or at least they are when he’s through with them. Here’s a before and after of Alicia Keys:




What I find interesting is that in several cases the retouching involves removing things like the folds of skin that happen with the bending of limbs or wearing of tight clothes. As well, in some of the photos you can see that bone structure has been altered: eye sockets, jaws, rib cages. The result is an ideal human form that isn’t actually human.

I read an article once that discussed the prevalence of artificial flavouring in food. The article stated that enough strawberries aren’t produced worldwide to meet the demand for strawberry flavoured goods, so demand rises for synthetic flavours that can be produced in unlimited amounts. What happens, though, is that the people concocting the flavouring punch up certain aspects of it to make it taste even more “strawberry,” to the point that consumers will reject natural flavouring because it doesn’t taste enough like strawberry.

Something similar happens with magazine images of the body like the ones at the above site. Photo manipulation produces rock hard bodies and exotic faces that defy anatomical reality. The public then rejects anything in others and themselves that does not match up to the physical forms that exist only on the printed page. Even the celebrities and models that are emulated don’t have the features their photos suggest they do.

But all this has been discussed ad nauseam elsewhere. For a much more clever discussion of body image, read this entry over at Paul’s.
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Here’s something a little less sinister; this photo artist takes old photos and new ones of the same person and cuts them together to make something he calls an “age-map.” The results are striking.

See more here.
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From 1826, the first photograph ever taken. It’s not particularly striking.
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I just realized that a bunch of the links in my last post didn't work, so I've gone back and fixed them, in case you're interested.

Great Odin's raven!

I’ve been listening to a bunch of Bedouin Soundclash lately. Go find “When the Night Feels My Song” and give it three or four listens. You’ll like it, I promise.

(Thanks to Krista for the recommendation and Dilia for letting me know that Krista wasn’t just talking out her ass.)
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If you missed Alan Moore being interviewed on the BBC’s Chain Reaction a few months ago, you can download the interview at this link. They also have the outtakes and a link to the transcript.
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Anchorman has been coming up a lot in the conversations I’m having lately. If you can’t get enough of the movie, here’s a link to wav files of virtually every funny moment in the movie, and that’s a lot.
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And finally, for the deaf among us, here’s a photo that cracks me up:


It's an image from artist Gilles Barbier's sculpture, Nursing Home.
(via Lying in the Gutters)

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked for all those blow jobs

My softball team played the last game of our season last week and the next day we gathered at the student pub. This is the same pub that had a deal whereby teams would have ten percent of their pub spending returned in the form of pub credit at the end of the season, and while our team was last in the league in terms of games won, we led the league in bar tabs by several hundred dollars. We got together on Friday, then, for some free drinking. Or at least that was the plan.

Instead, what followed was a circus. Three rings, dancing bears, clown car, the whole deal. Among the highlights (or lowlights) of the night: Coach Paul took advantage of his last few hours of power by getting me to drop and give him twenty push ups, not once but twice, and the second time with my friend John sitting on my back. My other friend Paul invited a friendly stranger to our table, and then mocked him relentlessly by taking awful photos without the man’s knowledge, proving once again that Paul is a stone cold bastard. Commenting on one of the photos afterwards, Paul declared the snapshot to be the high point of his life, and none of us could argue. I’m not one to talk, though, as at one point in the night I sat on someone’s head, as a show of power. I won’t say who, though, so don’t ask.

The night ended with an epic bar tab, which the waitress declared to be the longest bill she had ever seen.


Seven hundred dollars in drinks between twelve people (at pub prices, no less) is impressive no matter how you cut it. I cannot wait until the school year starts and no one has time to go out.
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Hats off, though, to Coach Paul, who put the team together in a manner reminiscent of a scene from the Mission Impossible TV show, by contacting each individual member as if choosing specialists in the field. He pulled a ragtag group of graduate students together and molded them into an elite baseball unit, the likes of which will hopefully never be seen again. It was like The Bad News Bears, except without the winning at the end.

As I type this, Paul is winging his way back to civilization. Like me, he is from Vancouver; he just gets to see the sunny shores again a little while before I do. After that he heads to Venezuela to do conservation work. Don’t be too impressed, though, since, as I found out today, it’s only for two months. Safe travels, Paul, and thanks for always making me look good by laughing at my jokes.
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Speaking of Venezuela, I’m sure everyone’s seen televangelist Pat Robertson’s comments on President Chavez of Venezuela:

"If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.

We all know Pat Robertson’s a dipshit; that’s not news. What I find interesting, though, is Robertson’s defense of his words:

"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out.' And 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping; there are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP, but that happens all the time."

Never mind the fact that he is playing games with semantics, he acts as if “taking out” a foreign leader through kidnapping instead of assassination is acceptable. Concepts of sovereignty mean nothing to him, and the hypocrisy of his words escapes him. How would Americans react to attempts or even threats to take out the President of the United States? The significance of Robertson’s comments isn’t that he threatened a foreign leader, but that his words reflect an attitude that is too common amongst the Right, not just in the U.S. but in Canada as well, that launching unprovoked attacks is okay if you’re the big dog and you’re dissatisfied. Robertson isn’t the only one saying things like this, he’s just the loudest.

Pretty pictures

Here are a bunch of links pillaged off of Drawn!

This link is to a sketchbook with drawings by various artists, all done with ballpoint pen. It’s got me hunting up all my ballpoints:


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Stipple Portraits is pretty self-explanatory, I think.


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This gallery by artist Antonio Jorge
Goncalves is of drawings he does of people he sees on the subway, which is either a good drawing exercise, or super-creepy. Or possibly both. He’s ridden a lot of subways too, as he has galleries for cities all over the world. This one is from Cairo:

"I spent like three hours doing shading the upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done."

My days are divided between drawing and drinking; Napoleon understands.

Find more photos at McFarlane Toys.

Marketers are ridiculous

I want to move to San Francisco, where apparently you can throw anything you want out your window.


(more photos here. Link via BoingBoing)
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I wish I’d thought to get a degree in awesome; I don’t know what sort of coursework would be involved, but it sounds more fun than what I wound up doing.


(from a local advertising flyer)
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This morning, for the second time, I saw one of my roommates washing his dishes without using soap. As when it happened previously, I was stunned into silence and the moment passed before I could say something. I need to put a stop to this grossness as I am getting tired of washing my dishes before and after I use them. I’m hesitating, however, because I don’t want to come across as condescending; this is someone I have to live with, after all. Jim Gordon understands my pain. I wish my problem, like Gordon's, could be solved by hand to hand combat on a deserted road. >sigh< Living alone would be so much easier.
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The Christopher Walken thing is evidently a hoax. Colour me retarded.

"I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Does your mother sew? BOOM! Get her to sew that!"

Marvel versus DC, Lego style!


(by Ryan Dunlavey)
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I quite like this image, as well.


(by Jowo)
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Christopher Walken for President? Really? I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this for a few days now and I still don’t understand how this could seem like a good idea.

In part at least, Walken’s run for President must be inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger’s successful campaign to be Governor, which itself is related to the path Ronald Reagan took to the Presidency. Schwarzenegger’s bid for Governor made sense in that he had spent his whole movie career playing a hero, the sort of person who triumphs over difficult circumstances. On a more fundamental level, Schwarzenegger’s movies, particularly in the 1980s, helped shape what the American concept of a hero was, so while he tailored his image to that of the hero, he also pulled the definition of the hero closer to what he already was. The Commandos and Conans of the 1980s were a reaction to the James Bonds and the Saints from the 70s. I remember an interview with Bob Burden, of Flaming Carrot and Mystery Men fame, in which he said that Conan stepped away from the tradition of Bond in that while James Bond solved problems through guile and intellect, Conan reacted to things he didn’t understand by smashing them with his sword. Schwarzenegger’s hypermasculine image was also a reaction to the feminist movements of the 70s, but that’s a whole other digression on top of my digression. Schwarzenegger’s run for Governor began with his first movie, and the hundreds of millions of advertising dollars that studios have spent in selling the Schwarzenegger brand to the public are an unacknowledged part of his campaign budget.

Schwarzenegger’s brand identity is “the hero.” Christopher Walken, on the other hand (you see, I did have a point), has always been marketed as “the creepy guy.”


Even in the early days of his film career when he was a headliner, he was always trying to assassinate Presidential candidates or shooting himself in the head in ill advised games of Russian roulette. These days, he plays the angel of the apocalypse, or carries wristwatches up his ass for years on end. Reagan’s movie persona was generally affable, while Schwarzenegger’s was powerful and single-minded; Walken is usually disturbing, often with a couple parts menacing thrown in for good measure.

His platform is unclear, but I think if he skews left, the right will chew him up over his Hollywood origins, and if he skews right, well, I’m not sure what the left will make of him. Having more options available in the currently stagnating U.S. national political arena is a good thing, but I wonder if Walken's entrance will turn the next Presidential election into a circus like Schwarzenegger's run for Governor did in California. Walken's running, can Gary Coleman be far behind?

On time wasting, holy grails, and the coming insect revolution

I’ve had that Leonard Nimoy hobbit song stuck in my head for three days. Somebody put me out of my misery.
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I’ve been crap at updating lately, not because I’ve got stuff to do, but just because of sheer laziness. When I was in school, blogging was a way to avoid work; now blogging is the only work I have (other than drawing; don’t hyperventilate Des). I’m resolving to be better, so expect regular (hopefully daily) posting to resume.
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Let’s get the comics content out of the way, here’s a link to a Sin City game. If you’ve always dreamed of dressing in dominatrix gear and heading to a dirty alley to mow down thugs with your Uzi (I’m looking at you Jimmy), then this is your lucky day. Try it out, it’s a good diversion if you’re meant to be, I don’t know, drawing a comic or something.
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My landlord came by yesterday to fix the bathtub, and while he was here he told me that we really needed to mow the lawn seeing as the grass was getting pretty long. Instead of going with my first response - “Why don’t you concentrate on being a slumlord and I’ll look after my yard” - I told him, “I was planning on taking care of that just today.”

As I was mowing the lawn I noticed a couple of things: first, dogs apparently like to poop in long grass, because there were poopy surprises all over the yard. Second, insects must like to nest in long grass as well, since from the number of bugs jumping out of the way I apparently destroyed a lot of insect colonies, which made me concerned. Why am I worried about bugs, you ask? Well, I’ve had insects on my mind ever since I saw this picture a couple of days ago; it’s a praying mantis killing a hummingbird. Let me just repeat that in case you didn’t catch it: it’s a praying mantis killing a hummingbird.


Now, this could be a freak occurrence or the opening salvo in an insect revolution against every other creature on the planet. I leave it for you to decide, but if you pick the first one you’re wrong. I don’t trust those little bastards one bit.
(link via BoingBoing)
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Speaking of songs, today turned into the best music day ever when I found a song I’ve been after for years. Back when they first started showing commercials before the trailers at movies (fuckers), I saw an ad that had a song in it that I really liked. I always meant to look it up, but by the time I got around to doing so several years had passed. All I remembered about the commercial was that it was selling khakis, it had a wedding in it, and the main actor was a guy who’d been on Silver Spoons and The Wonder Years. He wakes up, runs to a church, stops a wedding, and runs out with the bride.

Along the way, as I was searching for the song, I learned a ridiculous amount of information about everything in the ad except the song. The commercial was for Dockers; it was shown in theatres in 1998; the scene was an homage to The Graduate; the actor’s name was Billy Jacoby, though he sometimes goes by Billy Jayne; he didn’t appear in The Wonder Years, but he was in Parker Lewis Can’t Lose; and on and on.

Until today.

As I was looking for excuses to not blog, my quixotic quest for this song occurred to me as a way to kill a bunch of time. I punched in a few searches that I know that I’ve used before, but the interweb rearranged itself like the staircases in Harry Potter and I found an old usenet posting from six years ago that had the song in it. It’s “Take me I’m yours,” by Squeeze, and I’ve been listening to it over and over all day. If you don’t think it’s the greatest song ever, I will fight you; that’s no lie.
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Okay, back to drawing.

The two great tastes that taste great together

I've seen a lot of messed up stuff on the internet, so it's rare that I come across something so weird that it leaves me speechless. Something like this video clip.


I will say that Leonard Nimoy is a marketing visionary for his attempt to yoke together two nerd kingdoms (nerdoms?) like this.

The one where I talk about the comics I bought over the past month

I haven’t done new reviews in a long time, so I’m going to try and catch up here. The first four are from last week, the rest are from weeks previous. Minor spoilers ahead.

Y the Last Man #36 – This whole issue is a dream sequence, and I should preface the rest of my remarks by letting you know that I hate dream sequences. I don’t even like hearing about dreams others have had from the people around me. Dreams tend to hold significance only for the dreamer; nobody else wants to hear about how you were running from a dinosaur made of carpets and then got saved by Gilligan. Not interested. The only time I ever heard a good dream story was from my friend Alvin:

Alvin: I had a dream last night that I was in a pet store and they were selling bald eagles.
Davinder: (disinterestedly) Oh yeah? Did you buy one?
Alvin: No, I bought a gorilla instead.
Davinder: !!

Gorillas and a little misdirection might save a dream story, but I don’t know that anything else will. I should point out, though, that the dream sequence in this issue of Y the Last Man is more of a series of flashbacks. The fact that we learn something about the characters may be what makes this issue passable, I just wish we’d learned more. This issues doesn’t seem to move the overall plot forward, except by increments. It’s competent work by both Vaughan and Guerra, but I’m getting restless after too many issues of events that I’m not connecting with.

New Avengers #8 – Steve McNiven’s art makes me forgive a lot, and while I am enjoying this comic, it also has a lot in it that needs to be forgiven. Having Paul Jenkins appear in the book could have been clever if presented properly, but instead it seems silly and inconsequential. I’ll hold off on making a final judgment until the overall plot is revealed. The scene in which Spider-Woman talks the Wrecker down was entertaining, but I just read the same scene in the She-Hulk tpb, where she talks down the Scorpion outside J. Jonah Jameson’s trial. The Spider-Woman scene still works, though, and really, it’s there to set up for the bit about the pheromones, which was kind of funny.

I don’t think Bendis gets Wolverine as a character, and the scene where he says he hasn’t made a good choice in fourteen years is funny, but sounds like Spider-man. Having Wolverine on the team still makes no sense story-wise, but at least an attempt is made to explain in this issue. Bendis tosses out a bunch of explanations, and the reader can choose whichever one suits. The overall composition of the team doesn’t make much sense either, I can understand putting a team together of your top sellers, but Luke Cage, Spider Woman, and the Sentry? What? However, this is a dead horse that’s been beaten in other places, so I’ll move on.

Gotham Central #34 – Another strong issue in a consistently strong series. As I flip back through the issue now, I’m surprised by how many good moments are in it. The opening scene with Batman, and his reaction to being shot; the reaction of the parents when the danger of going to the media is explained to them; the stuff with the missing gun; Robin on the rooftop; and the closing scene that expands the mystery, all show the skill of the creative team on this book. Captain Sawyer’s argument with the reporter over his source was well done too, showing that in a sense both parties were right. This scene reminded me of similar interactions on The West Wing, and highlighted what a force the media is in criminal investigations. What I like best about this arc is that it shows just how frustrating being a cop in a town with Batman would be. As readers, we generally only see the other side, but here we’re shown just how much he asks the police to trust him, while giving them very little back.

The art by new series artist Kano is good and keeps with the tone set by Michael Lark. The only part where I missed Lark was when the Titans showed up in the police station. I think Lark really would have brought that down to earth.

Uncanny X-Men #463 – I don’t usually pick this comic up, but after handing in my last essay last Wednesday I felt like splurging at the comic shop. The story is average, and reminds me that while I loved Claremont’s stuff when younger, this is the reason I don’t anymore. None of the human moments in this issue seem genuine; everything seems written with the sense that “if someone was really broken up about something, this is what they’d sound like.” The fight scenes seem forced and don’t move the plot forward, and Captain Britain’s quick transition from wondering about everyone’s strange visions to deciding to go “thump some heads” makes him seem less like a king and more like an ADD kid.

The draw here, as always, is Alan Davis’s art, and he does his usual solid work. I’ve used Davis as an excuse multiple times to pick up this book, but this is his last issue, so I don’t think I’ll be back again.

Astro City: The Dark Age #2 – I’m liking Busiek’s work more and more these days, as he’s blown me away on his last few projects. This one is no exception. I remember in the early issues of Astro City I’d be more interested in stories told from the superhero characters’ points of view than the ones that had civilian characters as leads. With this story, however, I’m far more interested in what’s going on with the two brothers than with the superhero stuff going on around them. The Silver Agent plot is intriguing too, but Busiek has made me care more about the “regular” people. Brent Anderson, as always, provides strong visuals and solid storytelling.

Runaways #6 – Read this on the beach and now the bag has sand in it. Another one I’ve got to stop buying. A couple of character revelations this issue, one surprising, one not. Both were interesting, but I’m not connecting with this series anymore. Competent work by everyone, all around, but I don’t think I’ll pick up any more.

Action Comics #829 – Part of the larger “Sacrifice” cross-over, but this was the only issue I picked up. I thought that based on the strength of the earlier Gail Simone issues that I’d be okay, but I had very little clue what was going on. A disappointing read, and it makes me reluctant to pick up more issues, which is the exact opposite of what a cross-over is supposed to do.

Ultimates Vol.2 #7– A few neat little character moments. The conversation between Jan and Hank was interesting, both for the fact that it was happening and also because it shows how shallow the two are. The Thor and Stark conversation was well done because both characters’ frustration made sense. The scene at Hawkeye’s place made me wonder whether Marvel had a vendetta on the character. The stuff with the cutlery was cool, though. I’m intrigued by the mystery of the traitor: we can rule out Jan and Hank, and Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch don’t seem important enough (though if they were acting for Magneto, that would be interesting). I think the best reveal would be Captain America, but I’m leaning towards Iron Man (that might just be because I’m reading Watchmen again right now, and I see shades of Ozymandias). Black Widow seems possible, but too obvious. Regardless, I’m sticking around.

All Star Batman & Robin #1 – I remember when Frank Miller used to write human beings. Is it like Chris Claremont, where my favourite writers from the 80s eventually degrade? The worst part is that this story would have worked if Miller had drawn it; I would have been able to excuse all the awkward narration and the clunky dialogue (“Go back to your newspaper, sexpot.”) as part of the atmosphere. I’ll probably pick up another issue or two- it’s Frank Miller on Batman, how can I not?- but I won’t be around for much longer.

Desolation Jones #2 – So very good. This is how you write humans. Jones should be almost an alien to the reader, but he’s very relatable, despite his messed up past. The scenes with the girl that scares people with her pheromones were surprisingly touching, coming from a writer known mainly for his cynicism. J.H. Williams kills on the art, which is no surprise, and Ellis has said that issues #4 and beyond were written with Williams in mind, so I’m only expecting this book to get better.

Astonishing X-Men #11 – Joe Quesada and Brian Bendis said in a Newsarama interview that this book was as good as the X-Men had ever been, and that Astonishing was the Watchmen of X-Men comics. Joe Quesada and Brian Bendis are on crack. They seem like decent guys, those two, and I like their work, but I hate when they say stupid things like that. This book is entertaining, but that's the extent of it.

The Professor versus the Danger Room come to life, in a fight that does nothing new. How is the Professor talking telepathically with a machine? I never thought of it before, but telepathy assumes contact between two organic brains doesn’t it? There’s no reason it has to, but this issue doesn’t explain why human to machine would work. The only scene that really shone was the conversation between Kitty and Peter in the middle; that bit was good writing. Cassaday shines and keeps me coming back.

How did I come to be buying so many books mainly for the art? It’s like I’m fifteen again.

Daredevil #75 – The last part of Decalogue. I remember when this team was making this one of the most exciting superhero books on the stands, and it seems like long, long ago. I may be wrong, but I don’t think anything new for the character came out of this arc. It was an acceptable read, but I’m wondering what we’re left with. I’m looking forward to the Brubaker/ Lark run very much.

Still the best job in history, for the 44th year in a row

You can't really appreciate this without looking at the bigger version of the image, available at the bottom of the page here.
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Also, check out these videos of experimenters popping water balloons in low gravity. The site explains the scientific rationale for the experiment, but I'm pretty sure they're lying. I don't hold it against them, though; this is exactly the sort of stuff I imagine me and my scientist buddies would be doing if I worked at NASA.
(link via Slashdot)

Exclusive jokes are the order of the day

This link will really only be funny, I think, if you're on the "Bad Signal" mailing list, but it's too good not to post.

"Oh, whatchoo my master now?"

On Wednesday afternoon I handed in the final paper for my degree, which means that I am now a Master of English. Not officially; I imagine my paper still has to be marked, and the department has to approve. I still have to go through convocation too, where I believe I will swordfight the Dean on a stage, I’m not entirely sure. Also, I haven’t checked my marks all year, so if I have unknowingly failed a class along the way I will not be graduating, but that’s neither here nor there.

So what does being a Master of English mean? Well, after months of thrusting verbs into large pots of heated sand, I am now capable of breaking bricks with my nouns, and flinging adjectives with pinpoint precision. Along the way I’ve witnessed the death of The Author, shuddered before the Defecating Duck, and endured the Three Man Class.* My friend John is going to be a Master of Biology (I believe) soon; I’m thinking maybe we’ll round up a Master of Psychology, a Master of Physics, a Master of Computer Science, and a few more dudes and run around fighting crime.

But right now, I really need to find a job.

*There are maybe two people in the world that will get all three of these jokes.
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In other news, the man formerly known as “My friend Des” has now been promoted to “My best friend Des,” after getting me a gig drawing the short story he’s written. When was the last time you got me work drawing comics? That’s right: never. Des is getting me published, which is why he’s number one, and the rest of you are a distant number two.

Once this thing is published, Des, one of my kidneys has your name on it.
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Finally, over at the always excellent Comics Reporter, Tom Spurgeon asks: What five comics industry events would you have liked to have witnessed? I can’t really think of any to top the great ones already listed, but I wanted to draw attention to one of the ones on Spurgeon’s own list:

3. Wally Wood getting back original art commando-style as per Tom Sutton's story

The story goes that Charlton comics wouldn’t give legendary artist Wally Wood his art back after an assignment. Wood’s friend Tom Sutton tells the story and says that Wood was a paratrooper when he was younger, and had served in the war (Korean, I’m guessing). Wood responded to the company withholding his artwork by going to the Charlton offices at night, shooting a grappling hook to the roof, and scaling the wall, before entering the building through the skylight, and retrieving the work in question. I don’t know if many industry moments top that. An excerpt from the Tom Sutton interview is at the bottom of the page here.

Go Harry, it's your birthday

Quick update today, just to say Happy Birthday to my brother Harry. Here's a photo of old big-face himself:



Actually, just to keep with the comic book theme, here's another photo of the time time he beat up a little girl for her dolls and Batman chased him:



Maybe I should have a cowboy theme:



Okay, I should lay off; he's a good guy, even if he does walk like a girl:



Alright, alright, I'm off to the pub. We'll be toasting you tonight buddy.