My frigging head

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Went to the pub after class today and stayed there for five hours. Now I've got one of those hangovers that sets in as you start to sober up after drinking earlier in the day. My parents have gone back to Vancouver, but I've kept drinking. Is this how you turn into a drunk? Am I going to wind up being one of those old men who hang out at seedy bars asking people, "Are you going to finish that?"

Ow. I need to go drink some fluids and lie down.

And so you have something to do, here's a list of the "Easter Eggs" in Revenge of the Sith, including an appearance of the Millennium Falcon. Go amuse yourself.

They're here

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My parents are visiting. I've gotten drunk two days out of the last three. I don't believe that the two are entirely unrelated.

Regular blogging will resume once they've gone home.
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In the meantime, reason #102 why I love comics:



Cowboys. In space. Fighting Nazis. I'm going to give myself an aneurysm trying to process all the different ways this kicks ass. What other medium could possibly allow for this story? What other medium could pull it off? Even a 50s b-movie couldn't do it without being schlocky. I love that comics do this sort of thing unselfconsciously; of course the cowboys are in space fighting Nazis, why wouldn't that make sense?

I love this comic without having ever read it. I love the people who made it. I love it because of, not in spite of, the awful placement of the "In this issue" box. I love it because of the blonde guy's mystifying haircut. I love the audacity of it all.

(image courtesy It Lives Comics)

For the obsessed lunatic in all of us

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As we were waiting in line for Star Wars the other day, I left the others and wandered over to the bookstore because line duty is for suckaz. I was looking in the graphic novel section when I saw a book called The Batman Handbook. I was going to ignore it because it looked like just another history, but it turned out to be oh so much more. The subtitle for The Batman Handbook is The Ultimate Training Manual. That’s right, this is a book that teaches you what you need to become Batman.

You may have seen other books like this, there’s a series called The Worst Case Scenario Handbook that offers real ways to deal with fantastic problems like plane crashes and having to fight a crocodile. The Batman Handbook does the same except with a Batman focus. Much of the entertainment comes in just reading the chapter titles; you have advice on “How to Throw a Grappling Hook,” “How to Disarm a Gunman,” “How to Take a Kick to the Head,” “How to Jump out of a Tall Building,” “How to Extract a Confession,” and the always practical, “How to Win a Whip Fight.” The last chapter, appropriately, is “How to Blend into the Shadows and Slip Away.” There are handy diagrams throughout to show you how to execute some of the more complex maneuvers.

I was also entertained by some of the writing. While much of the text succinctly explains things like the proper way to drive your car on two wheels, there are little extras that explain the applications to your life as Batman. The section on “How to Win a Coin Toss,” for example, tells you how to call a coin toss, but in the end suggests attacking Two-Face while the coin is in the air, and deciding the situation “with your fists.” You can’t beat prose like that.

Saw the movie

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Got to go see the new Star Wars movie last night, and quite enjoyed it. I’ll refrain from giving away specific plot details, as I imagine that not everyone is as nerdy as me and will not have seen it yet, but I do recommend going. Opinions of the movie were split in our group, mainly over issues with the dialogue. My friend Kevin thought the dialogue would have been okay if it had been delivered properly, while I believed the opposite, that the dialogue was sometimes clunky and stilted, but the actors did a good job selling it.

I’ve been wondering recently whether there was any need for the prequels; everyone knows the story already, and I doubted whether the execution could ever match up to expectations. I thought that the movies that fans had in their heads would inevitably be better than whatever Lucas could put on screen. This latest movie, however, adds something to the whole. There aren’t any unexpected plot elements or such; instead this movie adds resonance to the three existing movies. Anakin Skywalker becomes a tragic figure, and I won’t be able to look at Darth Vader now without seeing Anakin trapped inside. As well, Obi Wan’s exile in the desert is that much worse because he has seen his whole religion wiped out by his student.

The movie wasn’t perfect, and there’s plenty to nitpick. My friend Ben pointed out that the movie only had one woman in a speaking role, something the rest of us didn’t notice. Also, as mentioned the dialogue is somewhat wooden. Overall, though, the movie lives up to the promise of the trailer, which is more than I expected. I’d even go so far as to say that it stands with the first three in terms of quality. Revenge of the Sith has made me want to watch the originals again, and that’s something the other two didn’t do. Parts I and II may not have been necessary, but I’d argue that Part III was.

A couple of rambling comic reviews

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Just a couple of quick comic reviews; the haul was light this week and I only picked up two books, one of which came out last week.

Daredevil #73- I’ve been saying for a while that I’m going to drop Daredevil; during the last story arc, at the end of the last story arc, and after the first issue of this arc. However, the title is on my pull list and I keep forgetting to take it off. My laziness and irresponsibility worked out this time, as the last issue was a great read and this issue is good too. With the last two issues, I find that the further the book strays from the character of Daredevil, the more interesting it is. Daredevil is a peripheral character in this storyline, and I hope it stays that way. The last thing I want to see is him breaking in and saving the support group from some threat.

There’s a little mystery set up in this issue, and a suggestion that the group is not entirely random. I’m intrigued enough that I’m in for another issue.

Action Comics #827- I’d been hearing good things about Gail Simone’s debut on Action Comics all week, and being a sucker for Superman done well, I decided to pick it up. I’m glad I did, Gail Simone gets Superman, and gets why Superman is cool. Every interview I read with Mark Waid shows that he gets it too, but it never shows up when he writes Superman. So I guess Gail Simone gets it and she can explain it. The overall plot so far doesn’t seem like anything very new, but the way Simone tells the story is what makes this book good.

John Byrne on art is fine, although the inking tends to overwhelm the pencils; not in a necessarily bad way, but the inker is far from invisible. The obvious point of comparison is Byrne’s last run on the Superman titles almost twenty years ago, and while the storytelling is nicer and the art less cluttered, I don’t like his Superman as much as the way he drew him before. There were a couple of spots too, where he didn’t seem to be putting across the emotions the script required. I found myself thinking that Alan Davis would be a better fit for what Simone’s doing. But overall, this was very good, and I’m in for a few more issues at the least.
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Now it's off to see the Sith.

It's what's on the outside that counts

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I didn't see much in the Marvel, Image, or Dark Horse solicitations worth keeping, but DC's August solicits had a bunch of images that caught my eye.



I like Adam Hughes, and I love the current Catwoman outfit (I was going to call it the “new” outfit, but it’s been several years now, I guess it’s time to stop that), so it makes sense that I’d like this cover. After seeing the first Hughes cover, I mentioned over at the Adam Hughes Yahoo Group that I wished that Adam had gone for a “cats eyes sunglasses” look to the eyewear instead of the “Jim Lee goggles” look, and the posting was acknowledged by Adam’s significant other, who posts to the group. I like to think that my comments had something to do with the way the goggles look now. Let a guy dream.



This cover is okay overall, I just really like Kerschl’s version of Superman in the back there. From what little I’ve seen of his work, Karl Kerschl should be getting more attention, and I hope his work on Adventures of Superman puts more of a spotlight on him.



There’s a lot of stuff wrong with this image: It’s another one of Ross’s "DC icons flying into action" covers (a look that both Ross and Bryan Hitch have beaten to death, and then beaten some more), the colours are garish, and the lightning is out of place. But I really like the face on Aquaman here in the foreground, and today, that’s enough to make me keep this cover. It amuses me too, that the reins Aquaman is holding are likely tied to an unseen giant seahorse.



Another nice cover drawing by Justiniano. I don’t know if the final cover will be coloured, but I like what he’s done here with the black and white and grey. The figure in the back doesn’t do much for me, but I like the posing and the paraphernalia on the woman in front. The pointy bits and cables, the flying rubble, and the sky in the back all add a sense of motion that catches the eye. I’m not too interested in Human Race (Kellen you got the first one and didn’t like it, right?), but I’ll watch out for whatever Justiniano does next.



I’m a big fan of Doug Mahnke’s stuff and I’ve been following him since his work on The Mask years back. I kept this cover because I liked the image of the Flash up front. Looking at it now I notice a couple of weird things in the back: for one thing, Mahnke draws Batman’s ears as protruding from the top of his head rather than as an extension of the sides. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another artist do that, at least not an artist that draws in a “realistic” style like Mahnke does. Also, Martian Manhunter’s right arm is on this side of Wonder Woman even though he’s on the far side. That seems a little-- intimate. If she wasn’t holding the lasso, it’d look like she was trying to fend him off.



Another Campbell image! What’s going on? The me of five years ago would be horrified with the me of today. Nevertheless, the girl on the left is well drawn, and the cover is composed well, aside from the girl with the wings, who looks awkward for some reason. But all in all, he’s doing some nice work here. With all the figures and colours, this cover should be hard to read, but it’s okay. I like that he’s experimenting.



This is an intense image. Dave Gibbons is a great artist; I used to think that he was workmanlike, and did the job and that was it, but no, he is a great comic book artist. It’s just an eye, but looking at it evokes an instinctive reaction. Side note: he gets a lot of credit for Watchmen, but I think his best work was in Give me Liberty. Or maybe I’m just being contrary.



Leinel Francis Yu has gone in a Travis Charest direction with his art, and it’s really nice to look at. I like the implausibly designed bike, and I like the character work on the girl, but I think my favourite part is the heads-up display around the muzzle of the gun. What a great visual idea. I didn’t pick up High Roads because Scott Lobdell’s writing drives me up the wall, but Andy Diggle is writing this series, and while I haven’t read anything by him yet that has connected with me, I think he’s good enough that I can safely pick this up for the art.

The awful thing in your mouth

I had a sore spot on my tongue a couple of weeks ago, so I went looking online for remedies and I came across a site describing various tongue ailments. A list at the top of the page described the various things that could be wrong with your tongue:

• Loss of taste
• Sore tongue
• Black hairy tongue
• Glossodynia
• Benign migratory glossitis
• Tongue-tie.

Uhhh, I’m sorry, do you want to run that third one by me again?

And the description of it is even worse:

While the term 'black hairy tongue' suggests the tongue surface looks black, it may also be dark yellow, brown, green or white. The tongue papillae are constantly renewing themselves and, usually, the old cells are shed as the new cells emerge. Black hairy tongue, a comparatively rare condition, is caused by the failure of the old cells to shed. The overgrowth of papillae trap food and bacteria, which create the characteristic dark 'coat' on the tongue's surface, while the tongue looks furred because of the layering of unshed papillae. The cause isn't known, but risk factors include:

• Poor oral hygiene
• Cigarette smoking
• Particular antibiotics
• Chemotherapy and radiation treatment for cancers of the head and neck
• Poorly managed diabetes.

I'm going to remember this the next time I’m about to complain how life isn’t treating me fairly. Blech.

More "Ideas I Wish I'd Thought Of"

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I’m noticing a lot of blogs popping up that are written as if from the point of view of a fictional character. Dave, of Dave’s Long Box, which I mentioned yesterday, also writes a blog called The Velvet Marauder, which has the tagline: “It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.” Andy, who writes the Intern in New York blog also mentioned yesterday, has recently started a blog called I’m a Small Town Superhero, detailing the “adventures” of a superhero operating in Kenosha, Wisconsin. And of course there is HULK'S DIARY THAT IS ON THE INTERNET, written in the voice of the Incredible Hulk, by Kevin from BeaucoupKevin. The Hulk blog can be very entertaining at times, but what I like best is that it’s years old. It takes a certain kind of demented dedication to keep a joke running for that long.
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These blogs remind me of a guy on Usenet that used to post hilarious reviews as excerpts from the diary of Rorschach from Watchmen. I Googled up some of his posts, and I think this was one of the first ones he put up; here are a couple of outtakes:

Impulse #19. Mark Waid again. Check reveals name
Mark Waid on many books out at same time. Must investigate.
Moloch-run conglomerate? "Ghost-Waids"?
Book humorous. Punched self in testicles when felt laugh
coming on. Big feet? Big artist. Takes too many vacations.

Daredevil #358. Bought book for Kesel story and Nord art.
No Kesel or Nord in book. Hrrm . . . Marvel burns tonight.

Now that I think about it, there was someone who used to post as Bizarro No. 1 too, also very funny. I remember having to smother my laughter as I sat in the bowels of the university computer lab. Hrm. Probably less efficient than punching myself in the testicles.
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I made the mistake of going back and checking the dates on the Rorschach entries. 1996?! I remember reading them when they were posted, and it doesn’t seem like that long ago, never mind nine years. Feeling old and tired.

A long day of burning flesh

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I had people over for a barbeque today, and I am exhausted, what with all the running around beforehand, and cooking, and being charming and disarming. There was also a running gunfight with toy guns and foam bullets that really took it out of me. So what I’m going to do is point you to other people being clever and funny.
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First off is a blog called I’m an Intern in New York that is generally entertaining read. I particularly liked this one entry where the person talks about helping out aspiring actors working as waiters by giving them a crappy tip and giving them a chance to practice their acting:

Waitress
Nice tip, asshole.

Me
Nope. Nope.

Waitress
Excuse me?

Me
I wasn't feeling that at all.
Try it again.

Having worked in the service industry, I think that people who give bad tips should have some sense beaten into them by a gang of chimpanzees with pool cues, but despite that, this is a funny entry. Go read the rest.
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Speaking of tips, here’s a public service announcement. I delivered pizza all through my undergrad, and people outside work would always ask me what a proper tip was for the pizza guy. My response went as follows:

For a twenty dollar order

$1 was a minimum. Anyone who consistently gave me nothing would have their orders placed on the bottom of the pile when I went out with multiple deliveries. If you only gave me a buck, I wouldn’t like you, but I’d assume you were poor.
$2 was satisfactory. If everyone during an evening of deliveries gave me two dollars I would go home happy.
$3 was a good tip. It would ensure that your next delivery was speedy and greet you with smile whenever I returned to your house.
$4 and I was your best fried.
$5 or more and I would take a bullet for you.

People sometimes balk at tipping a pizza delivery driver, and I explain that for deliveries you’re not tipping for the service you got, you’re tipping for the service you want next time. All the drivers I worked with knew which addresses tipped well, and we fought to get those pizzas there as quickly as we could. Everyone else fell by the wayside. Just so’s you knows.
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Just to show that you can write and sell a book about anything, it’s The Official Rock Paper Scissors Strategy Guide.
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And a bunch of comic book blog links that I haven’t had a chance to add to my blogroll yet:

The Shrew Review does interesting, well thought out reviews of new comics. I like that they’re long reviews too, which I don’t really see many other people doing (including me).

Dave’s Long Box offers entertaining reviews of his old comics and was mentioned in Newsweek (!) You’ll probably get a lot more out if it if you know what a long box is.

And finally, The Absorbascon is obsessed with the minutiae of the classic DC universe, but in a funny way.

We now resume daily broadcasting

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Daddy said son do what you should
Rockin is my business; business is good.
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I’ve finally finished the last of my papers from last semester, only two weeks late. Also, I’ve just handed the first paper from this semester, which means that I am officially all caught up. For all the hell of school, there’s nothing like the euphoria when you complete a big assignment. I’m walking on air right now, and if I could I’d express my joy by breakdancing like Soundwave.

Being all caught up (I really like saying that) means that I will be updating regularly again, so the six people who’ve been visiting every day through the dry spell will finally have something new to look at. I’ve been in seclusion, though, so I may be commenting on long-dead topics. I don’t care, I’m determined to have my say on things the public has gotten bored of and left behind!

So what’s this I hear about the Pope not feeling so well?
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If I didn’t know better, I’d say that Mark Merlin is taking a shot at me on this cover:



That’s okay, he’s about to get his.
(image courtesy comics.org)
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And finally, head over to Alex de Campi’s site, where she’s posted an eight page comic called "Necrocomicon", showcasing new artist, Dave Marquez.



Go. It’s funny.

Treat yo mother right

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It's a little late in the day, but I'd like to wish my mom a happy Mother's Day, with a little help from Mr. T. Click the image to see the video, fool.


(thanks to Chris for the link)