"Oh, whatchoo my master now?"

On Wednesday afternoon I handed in the final paper for my degree, which means that I am now a Master of English. Not officially; I imagine my paper still has to be marked, and the department has to approve. I still have to go through convocation too, where I believe I will swordfight the Dean on a stage, I’m not entirely sure. Also, I haven’t checked my marks all year, so if I have unknowingly failed a class along the way I will not be graduating, but that’s neither here nor there.

So what does being a Master of English mean? Well, after months of thrusting verbs into large pots of heated sand, I am now capable of breaking bricks with my nouns, and flinging adjectives with pinpoint precision. Along the way I’ve witnessed the death of The Author, shuddered before the Defecating Duck, and endured the Three Man Class.* My friend John is going to be a Master of Biology (I believe) soon; I’m thinking maybe we’ll round up a Master of Psychology, a Master of Physics, a Master of Computer Science, and a few more dudes and run around fighting crime.

But right now, I really need to find a job.

*There are maybe two people in the world that will get all three of these jokes.
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In other news, the man formerly known as “My friend Des” has now been promoted to “My best friend Des,” after getting me a gig drawing the short story he’s written. When was the last time you got me work drawing comics? That’s right: never. Des is getting me published, which is why he’s number one, and the rest of you are a distant number two.

Once this thing is published, Des, one of my kidneys has your name on it.
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Finally, over at the always excellent Comics Reporter, Tom Spurgeon asks: What five comics industry events would you have liked to have witnessed? I can’t really think of any to top the great ones already listed, but I wanted to draw attention to one of the ones on Spurgeon’s own list:

3. Wally Wood getting back original art commando-style as per Tom Sutton's story

The story goes that Charlton comics wouldn’t give legendary artist Wally Wood his art back after an assignment. Wood’s friend Tom Sutton tells the story and says that Wood was a paratrooper when he was younger, and had served in the war (Korean, I’m guessing). Wood responded to the company withholding his artwork by going to the Charlton offices at night, shooting a grappling hook to the roof, and scaling the wall, before entering the building through the skylight, and retrieving the work in question. I don’t know if many industry moments top that. An excerpt from the Tom Sutton interview is at the bottom of the page here.